The Lighter Side

 

Recently I flew to Pennsylvania to film Jeff Keene at the Antietam battlefield, and then I drove to the Philadelphia area to shoot an interview with Carol Bowman. While I was out that way, I took a drive through the country and saw some amazing things...

While driving through the countryside I stopped to practice a lecture on "The Effect of Sudden, Traumatic Death on Subsequent Incarnations," and found I had a very attentive audience.


Rural Pennsylvania is known as the "Land of Little Horses." It's incredible how small they are!
This one did look a little bit like a Chihuahua to me, but what do I know?

 

Sept. 10 every year on the farms of rural Pennyslvania is "Big-Small Day." On that day, children and their parents reverse roles. Here, the son drives the farm machinery, while the father assists.

 

This rare shot, taken hurriedly at an experimental genetics field lab on Rt. 23, clearly shows an "alti-sheep." These sheep are bred taller so that insomniacs can count them more easily from a prone position. Note comparison with the normal-sized sheep, right.

 

People in rural Pennsylvania are extremely generous (or extremely clever?) It's amazing the good shit you can get for free.

 

People here keep in such good physical shape that the joggers outrun the cars! In fact, a few years ago it evolved into a sport called "sprint-passing," but there were so many accidents it had to be outlawed, and these signs to pass only with cars were erected.

 

A new environmental law has been passed in rural Pennsylvania requiring all trucks to be built of biodegradable wood by the year 2010. The driver told me this prototype drives like "roller skates on tree roots," so I guess they're still working on it.

 

Speaking of trees, it is widely known that lightning striking trees causes fires, but until recently it was not known that the sun itself can occasionally ignite a tree if it happens to set right on top of it. I called firefighters to the scene, but fortunately they weren't needed this time! I was gratified that the firemen did take it quite seriously--none of them were laughing.

 

 

Several locals had told me about a great old hippie guitarist they call the "Porch Rocker," who had retired out this way and plays for donations on the front porch of this furniture establishment, but when I got there he wasn't around--just his chair.

 

The Punchline:
Everything on this page of my website is pure bullshit. But, this is the only page where I'm bullshitting--every other page on this site represents the truth as far as I know it. Point is, I do know the difference.

 

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