Deborah's Memories

It is always awkward to know were to begin. It is even more difficult to express things that cannot be "seen" by others. Past life experiences are one of those things. I have been doing past life regression work a while now, and I have been lucky enough to experience many life time's. Each experience is special to me, and I have learned a great deal about myself, life and love.

I am very aware of my last life and the emotions that accompany times of war. The following are excerpts from my journals as I remembered this past life. I lived in the upper right corner of Italy, in a small town, with a white church, and lots of vineyards. I was an Italian woman 1900-1958--Valeria. I was born into this life in February 1959.

7/18/92

Two nights ago I had a waking vision of a young girl with dark long waving hair, holographically she transformed to be about 45 years old. She had a bandana in her hair, an old apron over a skirt that was knee length and old shoes which were too large for her feet. I felt she was Italian.

My mother is clairvoyant, and was able to give me more insight into the vision. When I told my mother about my vision she was able to "see" it in full color, like a motion picture. She said I was from Italy along the upper right hand border. My family had a vineyard and that I lived there my whole life. My first vision was me at about fifteen years old, and it was the year 1915, World War I.

She then said a young German Pilot was shot down near our "vista" point. He was in his early twenties, possibly twenty-two. He was blonde with blue eyes, about 5'11" and well built. She smiled at me and said, "This young man is your husband now, Patrick." Patrick is a pilot in this life too, and loves World War I.

She went on to tell me that I had found him and hid him in the barn. When my father found out he was furious with me. There was a lot of regret around this when I was alone, and that I wore his old shoes later to remind me of my father as I worked in the vineyards.

I then did my meditation session/regression with my mother...

I was a young girl at a festival, music was playing, people were happy. I was standing by a stone fence and wearing a very fancy dress, it was blue with white lace. There was a tree which hung over the stone fence and supplied shade. It was an olive tree.

I then moved to a few years later and I found myself arguing fiercely with my father. He stood in the arched doorway of our house, the top half of the door was open, the bottom half shut. I was very angry and frustrated with him, and him with me. Then suddenly I was looking into his eyes and I knew he loved me and I loved him. UNSPOKEN. He was in his mid forties and quite the head of the house. It seemed to me that there was a large generation gap between us and a lot of cultural issues. I also felt the presence of a younger brother and sister.

Then I felt I was alone, I was older, walking through our vineyards and remembering the past. I stood on a hill top looking down at an old stone structure that had long since been destroyed.

It is an interesting session because my mother told me about parts of it and yet I saw other parts and details which confirmed her visions. After my session she asked me if I knew what had happened to my family. I told her that I felt like I never got a chance to tell my father that I loved him or to amend our differences and that he had died.

Upon this realization I felt the confusion of war, the loss of my whole family, they had died, all of them! I began to cry. My consciousness was flooded with images of the war and the death of my family in an awakened state.

My mother explained, "Your home was bombed by the Germans, your father, mother, brother and sister were all killed." She added that "You stayed there your whole life," and that I had seen the bombing from the "vista" point on the hillside where our grapes were.

My mother then added. "I also see Patrick (the German pilot) leaving on a motorcycle with a side car with other Germans who had come to pick him up. American planes came in and bombed them, and that I also witnessed this from that same 'vista' point." She said I loved him and that he loved me. He had been at our place for several months and had promised me that he would return for me. Instead I saw him killed.

So putting this in perspective, I saw the German pilot killed first by Americans and then my family killed only a few months later by Germans. I felt I had betrayed my father and his instructions not to aid the German pilot. The Germans had killed my entire family and I internally blamed myself because of my choices and Patrick for just being German...

For me this session has been a form of validation...that fact that another person whom I trust and know, can "see" what I see. It was the only session I did with my mother regarding this life time. I then was doing regressions on my own in my meditations.

3/11/95

Today in my meditation I went to Italy.

I saw many faces of people in the early 1900's in Italy. I was about nineteen years old. I wore old tattered clothes, an apron, and high buttoned shoes. I looked down and I was young and thin. Then it jumped to when I was about forty. I looked down, I was much heavier, my clothes were different but still old and worn. I wore larger boots/shoes on my feet. I was waving good-bye at a train station to a woman who was a relative, she had her husband with her and they were doing quite well financially.

(In meditations the images and time periods jump around a lot so bear with me.)

Then I first saw myself in my bedroom, I was about nine years old. My father had carried my little sister upstairs and put her in her bed. He tucked her in so gently. As he bent over I could see he wore suspenders, a white shirt, boots and brown slacks. He had no beard or mustache at this time but his hair was beginning to gray. I watched as he turned to me and muttered something in Italian, with lots of love. Our bedroom was upstairs, and the ceiling was rounded in the corners. We had a beautiful dresser with an oval mirror.

Then, time jumped forward and I could hear a train's whistle as it was leaving the station. The rolling of the metal wheels on the tracks, the conductor hanging off one rail. I saw the same woman again. It seemed that they came to visit me often. I knew I had been on the train only a few times to meet these same relatives at their place, but they mostly came to see me. Suddenly I realized that her husband was my father's youngest brother. He was probably 15 years younger than my father was.

Then I heard sirens, and I was not very old again. I saw bombs being dropped in town, not very far from my house. I turned and began to run for shelter. People were screaming and so frightened. It was World War I. My body was shaking from the inside out. My consciousness wanted to leave..I wanted out......

Then I found myself older (maybe forty) talking out loud, very fast in Italian, I was debating an issue with the woman in front of me. I was standing in the doorway of my house. The top of the door was open but the bottom half was closed. I was angry about the war, how people were being treated. So was she. It felt strange to be talking in a language that in this life I do not know.

Then there was a realization that I was a woman, my father had died, there was no man in the house, just me. I could not own property. Therefore my father's youngest brother owned it. I merely kept it up, tended what little grapes I could and lived there. Occasionally they would come to visit and see how I was doing. That's why I saw them when I was so young and they were leaving on the train, and many times after that when I was older.

The last thing I saw was something I have seen before. The woman I keep mentioning who is my Uncle's wife, had her hair all done up in front, curls all around her face and the style looks like the mid 1940's. She has two little girls with her and the oldest is about five. I can see the oldest daughter looking in the small window of the room under the barn where I hid the German soldier in 1915. Funny, it felt like I may have hid several others there as well.

6/15/95

Part of my meditation today took me to Italy...I saw my little sister with her bangs, freckles and turned up nose. I heard myself calling her name...Natalia. She was about seven and I was probably about eleven. Then I heard her call my name, "Valeria." This was a happier time in my life.

Then I was outside, working in my garden, it was the beginning of World War II and I was almost forty. There were soldiers coming through the area and they questioned me about the Jewish people who had been reportedly seen in the area.

I was not very comfortable in this part of my meditation, my shoulders began to hurt, my jaws became stiff and tired. I also felt as though I was not wanting to remember sexual advances made toward me.

I felt them searching the premises for Jewish people. I felt as though I had a family hidden somewhere in the barn under the floor boards, and inside some of the large round wine barrels. I had left the barrels half full so that the soldiers when they moved them could feel and hear the wine inside.

I do not believe they found them. But I remember the look of intense power and untrusting glares that the captain of the "Nazin" was directing my way!!

8/10/92

In my meditation I entered into the light..a beautiful purple swirling light. Then it turned to a crimson red..then to an illuminous blue.....

I see myself as a woman..I am picking up fruit off the ground...I spilled a basket full of fruit. I am on the hillside of my home in Italy as a young girl..then I move forward in time I am older, I am sad and lonely -- walking seems to have become very difficult. I know I am dying, I have been very ill. I am aware of the physical pain but also the sadness and loneliness that comes from being alone. Suddenly I am inside of my house. I am sitting in the kitchen at the table and leaning to one side. I am crying and holding my family Bible very close to me.

Then there is the realization that I am no longer in my body, I am looking down and I see myself clutching my Bible..I know I have died. Time seems to be like I am in a dream..it does not exist, it is still. I can see two men come into the room one older man with gray hair and the other is a small framed man in his mid forties. They have come to remove my body from the house. "So sad" they say..suddenly I feel despair, they have forgotten something..the Bible, my book...my families book....

Then I am at my funeral, only a few people come...I feel such sadness and so alone...I go to the hill by my families house in spirit body, I am looking over the grave sight on to my families property. Quickly I am reviewing the German soldiers death, my families death in the bombing, my life alone. I know I chose to be alone...it was a lesson for me about life...and love.


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