July 27, 2017


It has been some time since we have channeled, and you must be thinking, "Where is she?" Well, Steve has been furiously typing up his past-life newspaper works, from his earliest days before we were even an "item"...well, we were an item in my eyes, but not in his, yet, as I was quite young. Of course I had very romantic and unrealistic ideas of what love and marriage were like...I was looking for my soul-mate (we didn't use that term, but we knew what it was, one's true love); and I believed that my man would never take advantage of me, or lie to me, nor cast me aside. I was absurdly naive--but I had the good fortune of having picked, to love, the one man who would live up to all those things.

In other words, I picked it right out of the box. Then I died of consumption by age 24, which was a tragedy--but I was supremely lucky in the one regard, and supremely unlucky in the other. Girls who trusted the wrong man, only to be used, or to marry and be abused, were really far worse off. I never knew that. I knew respect, and solicitousness, and intimacy of mind as well as of body. I had it all--but I had it for a very short time. Thus do we never get what we want on earth. There is always the fly in the ointment, you see. It is here, in heaven between lives, that one finds fulfillment. Not in the "school" of earth. Not usually, unless there a specific reason to have it there. Really, you are far better off to have it here.

Steve recently tried to participate in a group online. It had to do with research into the afterlife, which of course includes Steve's special focus, reincarnation, and also encompasses our relationship across the Great Divide. He tried, and tried; but he found that he could not pursue the truth, and keep from ruffling too many peoples' feathers. But Steve came to a fascinating conclusion.

As Mathew, I taught him metaphysics, which I had learned first from my mother, and then from books. He also studied the ancient Greeks, and other philosophers and teachers to a lesser extent; but he had read widely and imbibed much wisdom. He also believed in sarcasm as a weapon for justice, and wielded it with much skill. But he found himself shunned, and rejected, and tricked. He had just about decided that it was the sarcasm itself which people reacted against.

But in this group, Steve tried an experiment. He continued to speak truth, but withheld sarcasm altogether. And he got exactly the same result. In other words, it was never about the sarcasm. It was always about speaking truth.

I will boil this down to the gist, as I see it, not as Steve necessarily would express it. Steve was a more serious seeker of truth than the greatest portion of participants in this group. They had other considerations more pressing; some laudible, some not so much. These were as individual as the individuals, themselves. But when pure truth-seeking got in the way of these agendas, they backed down. If it would offend someone else, for example, meaning, if they would find themselves in the minority suddenly, by expressing an opinion, they withheld it to remain in good standing with the rest. If it would bring into question a cherished belief, out goes the truth, you see. If it would offend a commercial sponsor; if it would create discord; and if and if.

Steve just spoke the kindest, clearest, most direct truth he knew, without claiming to know what he didn't know. It didn't wash. He might as well have been blazing with sarcasm, for all the difference it made.

Steve got, in the mail, a bound volume of the first year of a weekly newspaper that he had put a great deal of himself into, as Mathew, 10 years after I had passed. This was his last, best effort to establish his career as a writer. He put his money, and his talents, into this paper, only to see it torn apart by weak management and hungry, opportunistic partners. You can't have both, and survive. If you have strong management, and opportunistic partners, the strong leader will keep them in line. Or, if you have a weak leader, and partners who all put the welfare of the project selflessly above their own individual careers, you can proceed on a sort of team basis. But not a weak leader and selfish partners.

Here again, Mathew thought he was forced out because he was too politically liberal for them--and in a sense, that was true. But I am telling him now, it was the excuse. It was because he was--to put it in old-fashioned terms--God-fearing, and they were selfishly motivated. He was serving righteousness and truth, while they were serving themselves. Therefore they imitated him and stole his ideas, using them for their own glory. Then, vainly imagining that they were now doing what he had been doing, they pushed him out; but they were living off the fat of his creativity, until that ran dry--and they had not enough of their own to sustain the paper, and it died.

Well, Steve is exhausted--he was exhausted from a day of caretaking a stubborn old woman (his mother)--and now he is doubly exhausted, because channeling doesn't seem strenuous while he is doing it, but it takes a lot of concentration and focus, and it is draining him more than he realizes. So I won't take up any more of his energy, now. He still has a great deal of archiving work to do, and then our helper will be getting more pages from one of these newspapers from the library (as digital files) soon, and Steve will have more of them to sift through, and more of Mathew's work to type up.

Steve sometimes thinks, he is not only living this incarnation, he is duplicating the work of that earlier one, as well. But he wants to reclaim Mathew's legacy, and this is Mathew's early work, as a 17-18 year-old boy. It must be saved. So fortunately, God has provided Steve with the perfect situation to be able to do this work, by getting up early and having a few hours to devote to it, before his caretaking day starts.

Perhaps it will not be so long before I can at least "pop in" and channel something, next time.

Love to each and all,