April 18, 2017


Recently, I told you about the music book Steve purchased, that was one we used to sing and play from; and I shared with you the sheet music for "The May Fly" (or as Matt gleefully termed it, "Glee, the May Fly"). Now, you know we were newly-weds; Matt actually gave me these for presents, but with the obviously self-serving hope that I would play for him from them. Which of course I was most happy to do! Steve says, from memory and feeling, that the most blissful thing in our marriage was when I played music for him, privately, and sang to him. He really thought he had landed in heaven! But he doesn't know what bliss it was for me, to play for him. But you do see, I think, that when Matt said he was "Glee, the May Fly" because he had the happiest day of his whole life just ahead of him, he meant, of course, that our May Fly was finally going to have his opportunity to mate! Oh, I would blush, and pretend to be offended :-). But, you see, we also joked about how I was a privileged child growing up with a Marquis for a father; but that once I opened myself to him in our marital intimacy, he then became the "privileged child." Steve wants to add my reference to this in my letter to his sister, but that is a very long story. Suffice it to say it was code, and it went right over his spinster sister's head at the time...I wanted to see him, and I was being prevented, and well, I was telling him I wanted a rendezvous! He knew exactly what I meant...

Our brief marriage was so much fun. And now, it is, again. This is what I've been trying to tell you. Of course, grief may be fresher for you. But on the other side of grief, dears, lies FUN. As they say now, "I kid you not." (I would never kid about such a thing.)

I have been pressing Steve to practice and perfect this tune, "The May Fly," as quickly as possible, because I wanted to make good my promise to share it with you all. I only expected the first part; but he has gone ahead and recorded the second. He can't really play this, yet--he has edited it extensively. Even so, it is played quite haltingly compared to the robust interpretation I would give it, but this is just so you can get an idea of it. By the way, Steve realized he had made a mistake in one of the tunes we shared with you, earlier, in the timing of the notes. If you are musical, and see Steve make mistakes, the reason is that, obviously, I cannot play passages for him. It is extremely difficult for me to disabuse him of a notion--if he does get a wrong notion in his mind, it is far easier for me to just let the thing play its course until he sees it, for himself. The mind gets into a groove and is like a bull; you are better to guide it gently, than to meet it head-on. Steve doesn't mean to be stubborn, of course, it is just the way the mind is. So eventually, even if he has been playing something wrong, he will run across it played by someone else and realize his mistake. Do I sometimes nudge him into that situation, where he will hear it played? Of course.

Steve doesn't feel I have anything else clever to say. We (he) has chores to do, and I don't like it when he is so pressured for time. His daily caretaking duties are stressful enough, as it is. So I prefer his mornings to be more leisurely. I see the dangers of stress, for someone age 63, more clearly than he does. What I just said about music, applies also to habits which affect his health. He does try to remain open to my guidance.

Here is "The May Fly," the best that Steve could hobble it together with so little practice, and editing software. It was one of our favorites. And knowing that Matt felt that the May Fly's happiest day was coming up, made me inclined to give him a happiest night that night, too! :-) Sadly, my little life didn't last much longer than the May Fly's...but I am with him now, mind-to-mind and heart-within-heart, if he wants me--which he does!!! So now I am the gleeful one...

Glee, the May Fly

Love to each and all,