I want to talk about the concept of "soul mates"* as I experience it and understand it from this side. Bear with me--our communication is still "under development," and it isn't perfect. My thoughts are much faster than that of a person on the earth; I have to slow them down, condense them into a "ball" as it were, and burst them upon Steve's consciousness one-by-one, as he listens inwardly for them. He then has to distinguish these "bursts" from his own mental processes. He's constantly improving, and I can correct him when he makes a mistake.
How can I convey what soul mates means to me; what my relationship with Steve means to me?
First of all, I see our past lives together, and not only "see" them, but feel them. This means my love for him spans a great many experiences and memories. While an earth couple can say, "Remember the time when we were 19," I can say, and feel, "Remember the time when we were in Greece..." (just say). This is both positive and negative--remember that people who are very close, have hurt each other deeply at times, as well as loving each other deeply. This, alone, makes my experience very rich, and intense.
Steve subconsciously senses these memories, especially when I convey them to him by experiencing them in close proximity to him. That is how he remembered details of our courtship in the 1830's, which he included in his book. And that is why those memories all turned out, in his historical research, to be plausible, however unlikely that was. But he cannot clearly remember them as I do--this makes our experience a bit lopsided, for now. It takes a lot of trust on his part.
Now, soul mates have been so intimate, so close, that they have two elements running parallel. They have experienced intimacy of a kind and a degree not known to other couples--and over the centuries, they have hurt each other proportionately deeply.
When people get into other relationships after having had a soul mate relationship, one of two things happens. Either they shut off their feelings and protect themselves from the hurt they experienced; or they open up and try to recreate the intimacy they dimly remember experiencing.
All relationships can sort of be grouped into four types, as follows:
1) the actual soul mate relationship
2) a relationship in which both people try to open up to recreate the soul mate relationship with someone else
3) a relationship in which one person is opening up to recreate the soul mate relationship, and one person is closing down to protect him or herself from it
4) a relationship in which both people are closing down to protect him or herself from it.
The main challenge for #1, above, is to handle the intensity. It requires that both people have maturity; and this is not always the case. To carry a powerful current requires a high-gauge wire; and to sustain a soul mate relationship requires balance, poise and maturity. One must be like the tree that is firmly rooted in the earth and yet flexible enough to sway in the winds.
Number two, above, can be built into a rewarding, successful relationship, if the principle of give-and-take is adhered to. It is a serious dilemma for this couple, however, if the real soul mate shows up for either one of them. I do not wish to cause trouble for anybody, but we might as well acknowledge the issue. I am not suggesting to anyone what they should do about it. Ideally, it should not happen in the first place--and if it does happen, there is always a deeper karmic complication from past lives behind it. It is that past-life complication which should be addressed in such cases.**
It is numbers 3 and 4, above, where you primarily run into trouble, for reasons that should be obvious. In relationship #3, you have a "bull in the china shop" situation, where the partner who is shutting down to avoid pain is the bull, and the partner who is opening up to recreate the lost, dimly-sensed soul mate relationship is the china. This has mostly been Steve's repeated experience since losing me in 1841.
Number 4, above, is a situation where each partner is trying to be tougher than the other. Somebody is going to get hurt, and each of them is trying not to be the one.
Both 3 and 4 always end in tragedy. And they tend to self-perpetuate, from one lifetime to another. They are drawn to each other and then they destroy each other, over and over. Either one can be the "bad guy"--the one can become obsessive and violent, the other, callous and cruel.
It is all a huge mistake. It is all driven by love, but, love misunderstood.
The good news is that, through all these painful experiences, and so many incarnations, people gradually build up the very maturity that is required to sustain a true soul mate relationship. Then you earn the right to be united to your soul mate forever. Forever means, across incarnations.
The couples who are doing this are quiet about it. They rarely show up in the news; you might learn about them, if they become socially prominent, by what they've done for society. My favorite soul mate couple, when I was Abby, was Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. I knew, even then, that they were soul mates. You will often see such couples giving back to society. Steve and I are trying to do our part through his reincarnation work on this website and other venues.
Mostly, the soul mates' work does not achieve social prominence or wide acceptance during their lifetimes. Occasionally it may be recognized some time afterwards. At first it concerned me that we seemed to have so little recognition. I then realized that this was my own weakness, carried over from past lives, and I got over it. This is but one example of the kind of growth that occurs in a soul mate relationship. One must be ready to see oneself with fresh eyes when one steps into relationship with one's soul mate! And to make adjustments accordingly, in love.
There is not much more I want to say about this, now. I will probably add more to it, later. First, as a practical matter--not just for wanting recognition--I want to know whether this channeling is being taken seriously by anyone. I don't need applause, but if I don't have an audience at all, what point is there in speaking? If I just want to share my thoughts, I have an eager audience in Steve!
I have always tended to be a bit saucy with the tongue--Steve has always loved it, but perhaps a little goes a long way with the general audience...
On that subject, how can I convey how Steve loves me? Perhaps I shouldn't try. He recognized me, deep in his heart, intuitively, just from seeing a letter I wrote to his sister in 1836, when he was in another body, in another time. All his suppressed love and longing for me flared up, as it were, and this drew me to him.
Soul mate love never dies. It is very powerful. It can conquer death as though death were a mere straw, brushed aside in haste. Never toy with it. One wields an unimaginable power for good, if used properly, or ill, if abused. Develop that maturity which will enable you to sustain it, and to use it for the benefit of others.
This is all I have to say about the subject for now.
October 10, 2011
*For the purposes of this discussion, Abby is not distinguishing between the terms "soul mate" and "twin flame."
**This is not to be confused with the situation in which someone shows up and the lingering desire for the soul mate is simply projected onto that person, which is probably much more common.
Music opening this page, "Starlight" by The Free Design,
from the album, "Stars/Time/Bubbles/Love"